W3LC0M3 T0 TH3 D4NG3R Z0N3
by Mein Liebling
Summary: Your name was DEAN THOMAS. You were a normal human. At least, until recently you had thought so. ] Enter into your life.


You were in a room. Your room. It had white walls covered in what some people would call 'terrible' movie posters, a bed with junk piled on top of its blue and green covers, and a small bookshelf in the corner to your left. Many odd and random items could be found on the floor. You could not make out what they were from your current position facing the bookshelf. What will you do?

**==]** _Turn around and pick up closest item to your right._

You made a one eighty turn and walked to your right, and leaned down to pick up the rather boring book titled 'Wizardry for Dumbasses'.

You found the book tedious. You were neither a wizard nor a dumbass. The book was useless to you. You could not fathom why you even had the book in the first place.

**==] **_Put down the book._

You dropped the book on the floor and narrowly avoided smashing your foot. Be more careful next time.

**==] **_Investigate the strange tapping noise coming from the window._

What noise? You could hear no noise, not to mention that you did not have a window in your rather inclusive sanctuary. The view wouldn't be very pretty anyway, as it would just look onto your neighbor's driveway.

**==] **_Head downstairs to the living room._

Wait a second. Aren't you forgetting something?

**==] **_Remember what you are forgetting._

Did you forget to leave the stove on?

No. That is preposterous. You would never be so careless to do something so dense and inattentive. Besides, you did not cook. Your mother did most of the cooking. You wished she didn't, however, as she always would make your sworn rival's dish.

Curse you Betty Crocker and your delicious moist chocolate cake.

Eating it once was fine, but the constant string of birthdays in the month of July (your own included) made you quite sick of the baked good.

**==] **_Think harder about what you are forgetting._

Your brain felt like it was about to explode as you attempted to remember what was so important that you have forgotten. Your hatred towards Betty Crocker was momentarily forgotten.

**==] **_It's your name, you idiotic dipshit. _

You felt rather insulted. You were not a dipshit whatsoever.

**==] **_Enter name._

Obviously your name was [**FLEGWIPE ASSLORD**].

…

…

That was not your name.

You were disgusted.

You could not even put into words how wrong that was. It was intolerable. You would not stand for this. You were absolutely livid with rage at the suggestion. You were shaking with barely contained anger.

Now. You would enter your real name.

**==] **_Enter name._

Ah, yes. That is right. Your name is **DEAN THOMAS**. You were a normal human being. You had an obsession with the colour orange and you enjoyed art very much. You were fond of shitty movies and terrible soap operas. Today was a very important day for you, although you currently have forgotten why. Lately, for some reason, strange things would happen to you.

**==] **_Now go downstairs and investigate the strange noise._

Fine, fine. If you must. You were getting rather curious about the strange noise that kept on being mentioned.

You walked out of your messy room and into your second floor hallway.

Your mother and stepfather's room was next door to yours, and your sisters' and brother's was just across the hall. You briefly considered bothering your oldest sister, but decided against it, as the last time you did so she blamed you for breaking your late father's favourite vase and had to go without dessert for a week.

It was pure torture. Thankfully you survived through the ordeal, although now you were much more cautious around your devious relative.

**==] **_Stop stalling and get downstairs, idiot._

Goodness. How rude some people were.

You walked down the second floor staircase and sniffed the air.

_Oh no._

The familiar stench of your rival's dish made you clench your fists and stand in a defensive position.

_That smell was of Betty Crocker's delicious and devilish chocolate miracle cake._

Quick! You must-

**==] **_Find out what the date is._

…Follow the directions. At least you did not have to confront your eternal rival and her sickly sweet dessert at the moment.

You turned to your left, where a conveniently placed calendar was hung next to one of your framed pictures. You were rather proud of the picture, a family portrait of you, your three siblings, and of your mother and stepfather. You checked the date.

_July 13__th__._

…Oh! That's right! It was your eleventh birthday today. How could you have forgotten?

**==] **_Stop forgetting important things like your name and birthday, idiot. At least you can count to ten._

You couldn't help but glare at your invisible offender. You had other things on your mind. You could not remember your birthday or name at the time and place because of reasons. Reasons you were not fond of sharing at the particular moment. Reasons you should know.

And yes, you could count to ten. You checked.

**==] **_Finally head downstairs to the living room._

How troublesome.

And pushy.

You walked down the staircase, being extra quiet and sneaky then normal as you quickly arrived at the living room. Across the room was a door that led to the kitchen and you carefully moved out of its line of sight.

Ahaha! There was the window! But the curtains were closed, blocking your view of whatever could have made the mysterious tapping noise.

**==] **_Open the curtains and see what's making the noise._

You slowly opened the curtains, a feeling of excitement building in your chest. You wondered what was going to happen that made you feel this way.

As soon as the curtains were opened, you looked outside, and came face first with large yellow eyes and a beak holding a strange letter with a wax seal.

You wished you could say that this was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to you, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

* * *

I don't own Harry Potter.


End file.
